Naoto Kan has declared a no-entry zone for 12.4 miles around the crippled Fukushima nuclear plant. His hopes are to prevent people who are home sick heading back to their homes to only end up as mutated zombies or some sort of newly created super hero.

Japan can only have one super Hiro

However, an almighty invisible ‘zone’ can only work so well. As we’ve learned in stories about the human spirit and the desire to come home, if someone wants to bad enough, they will go home no matter what cost. Surely you’ve seen Homeward Bound?

So, here’s an idea that may just work. Mr. Kan needs to get in touch with Governor Rick Perry of Texas, and arrange a trade: give the Texas Rangers some top baseball players, and in return Texas gives Japan all of the killer bees they can round up to patrol this 12.5 mile no-entry zone.

Hola Japan. We are here . . . .

You may scoff at the idea, but think of it. The Texas Rangers will finally be guaranteed a World Series dynasty and Japan will have a guarantee that only Mothra or Godzilla would be able to get close to the nuclear plant. The fact that people in Texas will no longer have to worry about dying in an attack from the bees is just an added benefit. Such a trade in a show of good faith will only help strengthen relations between the two countries, and Texas will finally have an ally when it decides to become it’s own country again. After all, who would dare mess with the Japanese navy?

So, Mr. Kan and Governor Perry, think about it. This could be the start of a beautiful friendship. Either that or there’s a group of new superheros coming that may kick all of our respective asses one day.