So, in an effort to fully participate with Thotplaces’ new standard of social betterment, I have been asked by my employer to update you, dear reader, on how my quitting of smoking has been going.
For those of you who may just be stopping by, I refer you to a previous post of mine where I have talked about quitting smoking so as to be able to run away from zombies in the Run for Your Life 5k. If you haven’t read it, go back and read it. There’s a video with pretty pictures and a link to the website for the run. Definitely worth your time to read it.
So, getting back to me and social betterment. How is the quitting smoking going you ask? I wish I could say that every day I feel much better. I can feel more and more air enter into my lungs and it makes me feel amazingly wonderful and enjoying the fact that I am alive.
I could say that, and at times, yes I do actually believe it. However, a majority of the time I try to figure out ways how to poke peoples eyes out, and then spend time talking myself out of doing so because, hey, I need a job.
My day has gone like this:
8:00 AM- Walk in to my lovely little
patch of hell square of heaven known as my cubicle. Jeremy waves a friendly wave as he comes to his desk as well.
8:10 AM- Plowing throw reading the 115 emails that I have received since leaving the office yesterday. Starting to get annoyed with Jeremy’s tapping of a pencil on the desk.
8:12 AM- Trying to still finish reading the emails but that damn tapping keeps getting louder and louder.
8:13 AM- Now I’m beginning to feel like I’m in The Tell-Tale Heart as all I can hear is that tapping. I stand up, look in Jeremy’s general direction and clear my throat as menacing as I can. He looks at me cheerful as he asks what’s up. God, I want to claw his eyes out.
8:18 AM- Finishing up my diatribe on the proper ettiquite of pencil use to Jeremy, he for some reason runs out of the office in tears and heads for the bathroom. Finally, some quiet.
8:20 AM- I finally realize that maybe Jeremy didn’t deserve my wrath. I stand up and look, but he’s not back yet. I decide to go down to the ground floor and get his favorite donut from the bakery.
8:30 AM- On my way back up from the bakery, I realize that maybe I shouldn’t have called the guy behind the counter a complete moron for not knowing the difference between a Boston Creme Donut and just a plain chocolate donut, but I wanted to make sure I got Jeremy the right kind of donut so he knew that I was really sorry.
8:35 AM- Jeremy’s finally back. I gently put his Boston Creme Donut on his desk and sweetly give him my apology. He perks up like Bambi finding out that his mother really wasn’t dead and had actually faked her death for the life insurance money and gives me a big, bouncy hug.
8:45 AM- HE’S . . . TAPPING . . . HIS . . .PENCIL . . . AGAIN!!! ARGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!
8:55 AM- Stand in front of the bathroom and try to apologize to Jeremy through the door as he’s crying for me smooshing his Boston Creme Donut and rubbing it in his face.
And that’s just the first hour. So, yes, today truly has been a roller coaster ride. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
And maybe Jeremy has %^&*(%* learned not to tap his damn pencil.