So, it’s baseball season. And while many people in America are still die hard fans of our national past time, I prefer college sports. Why you ask? Is it because of the desire and talent of the young men who play for love of the game, and not for love of money? No . . . don’t be ridiculous.
I prefer college sports simply for the school team names. While most people may think of names like ‘The Fighting Irish’ or ‘Wildcats’ or ‘Raiders’ when college sports team names are mentioned, I only ask of you to think of one word . . . Gamecocks.
True, the Gamecocks are apparently a highly talented sports college. But really . . . Gamecocks? If that name does not make you giggle like an eight year old school boy, then may I ask you if you have a soul?
But surely, there must be other team names that are just as fun as Gamecocks, right? Thanks to Wikipedia, boy howdy are there. Let’s review:
Number 10- The Bridges- Somehow, I don’t think that Brooklyn College’s sports team, the Bridges, strikes fear into the hearts of their opponents. Or worse yet, the other team chanting ‘Let’s cross those Bridges!’ Why not the Brooklyn Crackwhores or the Brooklyn Cab Drivers? Anything but Bridges, please . . .
Number 9- The Artichokes-Many people are not fans of the vegetable, so why name a team after it? My deepest sympathies to the athletes at Scottsdale Community College. At least you’re not a bridge.
Number 8- The Dirtbags- Thanks to California State University, Long Beach campus baseball team for having this awesome name. At least Mom can finally say their child is a Dirtbag with pride and truth.
Number 7- The Gorloks- The Gorloks? Seriously? What’s next, the Community College Murlocks? If you know someone who goes to Webster University, please ask them what a Gorlok is and let me know.
Number 6- The Highlanders- Not really an awful name, but it makes me laugh for one reason. I read Highlander and expect that ‘there can be only one’. However, there can be only five: MacMurray College in Jacksonville, Illinois, McLennan Community College in Waco, NJIT in Newark, New Jersey, Radford University in Radford, Virginia, and UC Riverside in Riverside, California apparently behead their enemies and absorb their power.
Number 5-The Ichabods-Apparently the weakling who faces against the Headless Horseman is a name that strikes fear in the hearts of the opposing colleges. The Washburn University mens team in Topeka, Kansas run on to the field and apparently smash pumpkins at the start of a game.
Number 4- The Lord Jeffs- The Lady Janes may be scared of them, but this great name belongs to the players of Amherst College.
Number 3- The Lutes- Yes, musical instruments from the Middle Ages make great team mascots apparently. Pacific Lutheran University of Tacoma, Washington football players stroll out onto the field while singing a team ballad before the game starts.
Number 2- The Okras- You can get a side of them with some fried chicken when you go to Delta State University. The tailgates are awesome when they play against the Cooked Corn on the Cobs.
Number 1-The Shockers- Yeah, I won’t go into great detail, but because of the name, the Wichita State sports teams win the number one spot for team sports names. I wonder if they have a bowling team? For those of you who don’t know why this is funny, please find an eighteen year old boy, and ask where the team’s fingers would go.